The Color of Magic: The Movie

Last week I posted my review of The Color of Magic novel by Terry Pratchett. As you recall, I was pretty much on the fence on weather I liked it. Well, over the past week I have found something that has flung me so far in the “dislike” direction that I doubt I’ll ever see anything I like again.

The Color of Magic Movie

Nothing lulls me to sleep more that watching terrible tv on my phone before I go to sleep. Believe me, I get my $8 out my netflix subscription. I had just finished watching Dr Who season 9 again when I decided to veer off the beaten path and go for a movie. I came across The Color of Magic in my reccomended queue and thought I would give it a go.  A lot of the things that had turned me off about the book was that I had a difficult time keeping track of the characters so I was hoping that the movie would clarify a bunch of stuff. I popped in on my phone and let it all unfurl.

What unfurled was the biggest pile of horseshit that I have ever seen.

Let’s start with the casting. Twoflower was played by Sean Astin. I really liked Sean as Sam in the LOTR trilogy. I thought he brought out the hobbit’s spirit more than anyone else. In this travisty, however, he is just wasted. He comes across as a competant enough twoflower but the Floridaesque tourist outfit just pushed me over the edge (pun intended).  

Fat Tim Curry played someone that wasn’t, to my recollection, in the book at all. He was a wizard that was killing off everyone to become king of wizards or whatever the hell he was trying to do.

Some 86 year old old guy named David Jason played Rincewind which made me kind of sad. Rincewind was played like a bumbling idiot which I didn’t get the impression he was, in the book. Sure, he was a bit craven but I never would have classifed him as a blathering dolt.

The costume department needed to be taken out back and shot. Aside from the afore mentioned Twoflower/Florida fiasco, Rincewind’s wizard hat had “Wizard” emblazoned across it. It was all that I could see. I don’t know why it bothered me as much as it did…but it did. It was definately a made-for-tv-movie costume department. Even the mighty Christopher Lee was wasted as death, due to his ridiculous costume.

Also, it hasn’t eluded me that in my review of the book that I thought the whole thing needed a unifying element. Well it was given in this one in the form of Tim Curry and it was shitty. It detracted from the parts of the story that I really did enjoy and it was the cause of the complete ommission of the one part of the story (The crypt of Lovecraftian horror and the meaning of 8) that I thought was worth reading in the first place. The editing made ALL of the characters one-dimensional. The lines delivered by the acters came off as something that would be witty and clever using written word but felt childish being delivered by actors.

I have to be honest. I couldn’t sit through the whole thing. I only got 3/4ths of the way through before I just gave up. I think I have had enough of Mr. Pratchett’s Discworld for a good while to come.

 

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