Alice and I are going to McCall for a well deserved mini vacation this weekend. McCall, Idaho hosts a Winter Carnival every year that is a great time. The whole town gets together and builds a bunch of snowmen for the hordes of tourists. The entire place is really picturesque, with snow a foot deep and Christmas lights still everywhere. It is all very Norman Rockwell. Happy children, sledding. Couples spooning and drinking hot chocolate on a park bench in the snow. Sweet, right?
I can think of no better time to try out the brand new Olympic sport that I just invented!!
Throwing cinder blocks through car windshields!
“Is that really a sport?” you may well be asking yourself. And to that I answer with an emphatic YES! It is most certainly a combination of all of the following sports:
Weight Lifting: You have to lift the cinder block before you can throw it!
Javelin Throwing: You have to physically throw the cinder block!
Archery: You have to actually hit the windshield like an archer would a bulls-eye.
Boxing: Punch in the remaining glass so that when you reach in you don’t get all scratched up.
The Olympic Awards Ceremony: Hey! Look! You won an iPod! Or a car stereo! Or whatever change people have lying around their Escalade. These treasures are called “Olympic Medals.”
What is any good sport without rules, right? Well Throwing cinder blocks through car windshields is no different. We just can’t have people throwing things through any old window. It would be anarchy!
Here are the ground rules:
- You must use a cinderblock.
- This sport can only be played between the hours of 2am and 4:30am.
- If your cinderblock triggers an “alarm”, you must immediately run a sprinting mile in any direction.
- The official “uniform” involves a black catsuit and a full ski mask.
Every “Olympic Medal” you “achieve” MUST be verified for authenticity though the TCBTCW center at:
Boise, ID 83706
Let the games begin!