Someone called me “Mr. Alice” today at work. Alice is, as you all should know by now, the name of my lovely wife. She has been at this job for over a year, while I am just coming up on three months. She is pretty well-known and hard to miss. She has a lock of bright pink hair and red lips. She has a smile for everyone and brightens up a room instantly. I think it is the first nickname that I have been fine with; and I have had a few.

People don’t know me very well here, at my new job. I tend to keep to myself. I am really quiet. Most of my time is spent typing away on this thing. This has been a conscious experiment. Usually, I am loud and boisterous. I have never been known as quiet. My last job was totally created around being loud and obnoxious. I would run around in costumes or doing stupid things to make new hire employees not quit right away. I did that for five years. Most people thought I was insane. After a while, I know that I was.

So, it got me to thinking about names and the way people view you. What is in a name anyway? It has become quite apparent that you can change your identity by giving yourself a clean slate with a little bit of willpower. So, I have come up with a list of new nicknames that I would be like to be known as. I would like to see how it changes my reality.

The Archduke
Hmmmm. I like it . It commands respect. It has a vague pre-war europe ring to it. I fully expect people to kneel before me when they speak to me. It would only be natural that I sport a large mustache that grows from sideburn to sideburn. People would also fully expect me to say “Hrumph” a lot.

The Marshman
O.k. I’m cheating a little bit with this one. I have previously tried to get people to call me this one. It reminds one of the smell of spent shotgun shells, mud and the great outdoors. The Marshman has a mighty beard, to be sure. The Marshman carries a flask of liquor he brewed from deer’s blood and grain alcohol. The Marshman shoots anything that moves.

This one is for the ladies. Well, one lady. My wife. Who is totally not going to hit me with a frying pan for posting this 🙂

Lord Paul
I don’t think this would be a “nickname” as much as a sign of respect. Not only does this sound like money. It also makes you confident to give me all of your money as well. Lord Paul walks with a diamond encrusted walking stick. Lord Paul eats pate and caviar. You bring these things to Lord Paul for his pleasure. You will dance like a monkey on a string for Lord Paul if he so wishes. This is my favorite of the lot.

Big Time Dragon Wizard 69
On the days I ask to be called this, just walk away. Quickly.

I fully expect you all to pick one of these nicknames and call me by it on a regular basis. I would like the power and wealth and caviar. I demand these things and you will bring them to me.



2 responses to “Nicknames

  1. you are now to be referred to as Your Royal Imperial Noble Emperor Sultan Pharaoh Paul,Boss of Boise.


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