Disclaimer! This post will be full of self-exploration and other hippy shit. It probably won’t be very funny. I will be using this as a checklist for the year to come. Proceed if you will, but know this. You were warned.
Well it’s New Years Eve and here I sit, partially surrounded by padded cubicle walls. Wonder who the genius was who decided to pad them. Someone with a sense of humor at least.
I really don’t have any amazing revelations about last year. Every trouble that was thrown my way was counteracted by at least two good things of equal or larger size. I quit smoking. Never thought I would do that. That was big. Alice did it too. She was much better at quitting than I was. She did it with grace and dignity. I did it like a four year old, kicking and screaming for candy. I can be a brat like that. Except replace brat with jerk. That’s more like it. Gotta work on that.
- New Years Resolution #1: Continue to not smoke.
I also had some doctors stop then restart my heart due to it beating all crazy. That blew. So I guess, technically, I died in 2012. I still lack a taste for brains, so I think you are all safe.
- New Years Resolution #2: Stay alive. By any means necessary.
Alice and I moved into our new house this year. It is a really nice three bedroom house. Alice and I each took a bedroom to decorate to our liking. Alice did a very nice job of getting all of her vintage Vaseline glass up on shelves in a very tastefully done spare bedroom. There are mirrors everywhere and it projects a very nice Victorian charm. My idea of decorating has been to to nail some random pictures on my walls and throw my dirty laundry on the floor. I also believe there is a puzzle strewn about….classy. I recall grand ideas of a library/museum of bad art/game room theme. Time to get my swagger back. (No. I have no idead as to what I meant by that either.)
- New Years Resolution #3: Figure out what to do with my room and then do it.
I have been a bit of a grouchypants lately. This is getting annoying for myself and everyone around me. I think I will choose to be fun again.
- New Years Resolution #4: I am not 75 years old. I have not yet earned the privilege of being a grumpy old man.
I have gone from chunky…to fat. I have never actually been completely fat before. Even though I get to use some excellent fat jokes now, my heart probably could use less strain. I will get together with Alice and walk a mile a day. Everyday.
- New Years Resolution #5: Move limbs about.
That is a lot to work on. Too much. I think I need to mix it up and resolve to do some fun stuff too.
- Continue to blog for an entire year. Learn how to write stuff correctly.
- Do my national dishes project. (see related post)
- Fish for bigger fish. (This is literal, not some hippy crystal love thing. I actually want to catch bigger fish)
- Take one class on something, somewhere.
That is all. Like I mentioned before this post was more for me than for you. If you got all the way through this…I am sorry. My next post will be back to it’s normal sarcastic self. Happy New Year.