Feast or Famine Review: Michelina’s $1 Chicken A La King

Well, after our fancy-pants night out at the Cock we have had to scale back a little. Any blogger that can review a restaurant every night is either a trust fund baby or has a pretty significant sugar daddy/momma. Having neither of these things sometimes I will be reviewing what the rest of us eat. It may not be pretty, or good. It just has to be classified (or at least sold as) food.

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Hey! It’s Authentico! 

Tonight we dine like Kings.

The King of Chickens.

The Chicken King?

I’m not really sure what chicken al la king translates to. For $1 I am probably better off not knowing. This comes from the Michelina’s “Authentico” line of frozen dinners.

I can’t really objectively review this because…

IT IS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

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This is an “Authentico” I-talian feastico!

Perfectly cubed rubberesqe pieces of something. The box says it is white chicken. Re-hydrated pasta made from Elmer’s glue and whatever leftover chemicals that the food processing plants had left over. There were exactly seven peas. There were also two small strips of what I believe to be red plastic.

I’m not sure what to say about the sauce except that it was sort of white. I do not believe it had any sort of taste at all.

The texture of the pasta was what I would imaging eating human skin that had been floating on a pond for a month would be like.

I…I…look.

Just don’t eat this.

Thanks.

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